How to be a More Attractive Man
You’re hitting the dating scene, or at the very least, you want to keep your options as open as possible. If that’s the case, then you need to head on down to the mirror and take a good, hard look at yourself. Don’t just focus on what you’re wearing, but everything about yourself. We are our own worst critics, and when we approve of ourselves after rigorous critiquing, we become the best version of ourselves. Our tips focus on fashion, health and some more subtle things that you might be shocked to find out.
1. Groom Like a Gentleman
Grooming is a staple in any gentleman’s manly toolbox. We’re not just talking about shaving; you should be grooming everything to some extent. Not fond of the light hairs on your knuckles? Wax them. Find out the difference between proper hair holding products like putty and hair clay, and develop your style through what’s in your medicine cabinet.
Women find grooming attractive; it displays a sense of self-respect, professionalism, and responsibility. Not only that, but if we’re talking about manscaping as well, it gives you a complete sense of confidence. You never know what the future holds, but you can be prepared for the best parts of it by keeping your shop tidied up as well.
2. Roll Up Your Sleeves
It’s an oldie, but a seriously good one. Rolling up your sleeves is like an instant attraction magnet. It bulks up your arms, shows a bit of skin, and has the same psychological effect on others that popping one or two shirt buttons do. Forearms are sexy, so say the consensus.
Find an easy way to roll your sleeves, and make some magic happen. The real trick is ensuring that your elbows are still concealed by the shirt’s cuff, and you have a tight roll so it doesn’t come unfurled throughout the day. The action is just as powerful as the result; rolling up your sleeves in front of someone is seen as a super sexy power play.
3. Rock Some Shades
Sunglasses add mystery. Mystery (the right kind), is a sexy attribute that makes you look all the more daring. Not only that, but they take any minor imperfections you may have in your face, and sort of correct them in a weird way. It’s a wild concept, but it’s been proven by science. Your positive features come out to play, and those that need a bit of help, like the structure of your jaw, get a little boost from the added element to your face.
They’re also confidence boosters. We’ve all heard that sunglasses are sexy and mysterious, so we flip them on and immediately have a better sense of our confidence. They’re armor; nobody can scrutinize you, nobody can judge you, because even though they see you, they don’t see you. As an added bonus, they’re also good for hiding your hangover face, because buddy, nobody looks attractive when they’re hungover.
4. Lock Down Your Perfect Scent
There’s a ton of odd science at work with scents what attracts us to another person. Your scent can awaken primal desires in someone, or draw them to you. Women have more olfactory receptors, meaning the power of scent works wonders on them, but that’s where it gets tricky. We have a solemn duty to use just the right amount of cologne. We’re not just going off of science (because if you Google pheromone attractiveness, there’s only so much data to prove it), we’re going off of experience and application.
Men are told to match a cologne with their natural body musk. However, that’s damn near impossible. Your nose is always picking up on your scent; your body is used to it, and there’s not much of a scent to be found. Except, other people can detect it. That’s why you need to take the time and find the right scent for you. It sets first impressions, shows that you’re a gentleman, and so long as you don’t douse yourself in a cloud of the stuff, it’s sexy.
5. Sport a Killer Watch
The most undermined, yet powerful detail in your style arsenal is your watch. I’m telling you right now, if you blend our tips about rolling your sleeves and sporting shades, and you have an epic watch on your wrist, you’re going to absolutely slay. Watches show responsibility, show your refined style, and add another dimension to your physical appearance. Showing your forearms is good, when you match it with a watch, it’s better.
Dry, flaky skin is not sexy. You should always be moisturizing your face, your arms, and especially applying a little bit of Vaseline to your cuticles. Calloused hands show a man who works with his hands, but they don’t need to be unkempt as well. Your skin is like a view into your health; if you’re not taking care of the outside, then why is anyone to think that you’re taking care of the inside? Health, fitness and taking care of yourself, in general, is attractive.
So when it comes to your skin, moisturize. Using a quality face moisturizer can also help prevent ingrown hairs, lessen adult acne (if you’re not in your mid-30’s yet, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise when your pores enlarge). It keeps everything tidy, soft, and aesthetically pleasing. Dry skin is never on someone’s list of things they find attractive in a potential partner.
7. Reveal Yourself as High Society
When you appear to be high status, you’re perceived that way, and you have a better shot of attracting more beautiful women. Regardless of which walk of life you come from, the idea of having more money, nicer things and a better living situation is attractive. Why wouldn’t it be something attractive to a potential partner? You can find a ton of low-cost clothing to really ramp up your style and appear high-end. Grabbing a new leather jacket or some new shoes can polish your style.
This comes with a little more work, however. You can rent an expensive car for your first date, you can look a little more closely at your living situation and grab some artwork or non-conventional furniture to spruce the place up. You don’t need a seven-figure bankroll to look like that’s what you have. Deck yourself out in the right clothes and tech, and appear as if you’re the next Silicon Valley startup that’s going to hit the big time.
8. Steamroll Those Abs
One of the most common reasons men don’t find themselves attractive is too much body fat, not enough muscle, and not having those perfect six-pack abs. You don’t have to buy thousand-dollar gym equipment to get the right abs, but you do need to put in the work. You can opt for some less expensive options like an ab machine or some free weights, and learn a little bit about using your own body weight to achieve the perfect six-pack. One of our favorite trainers on YouTube, Chris Heria of Thenx, shows you how to get it done properly.
Muscles are sexy, so long as you don’t go over-the-top. Achieving an aesthetic physique and bulking up a bit requires your attention, but as time goes on it will become habit, require maintenance, and you’ll be reaping the rewards of your new body every single day. You’ll feel more confident, stand with better posture, and you won’t even realize it, but you’ll be turning heads just about everywhere you go.
9. Understand Your Footwear Options
There’s a few types of shoes every man should own, so you can be equipped for every single occasion. Your outfit begins from the ground up, so if you’re already failing by wearing dirty, beat-up sneakers, then you aren’t doing yourself any favors. Coordinating your shoes with the rest of your outfit gives you a clean look, showing that you’ve taken the time to plan out your attire and shape how others perceive you.
10. Don’t Wear a Cracked Belt
Leather belts look great, but they fade so quickly. You need to have a small revolving rack of leather belts at your disposal to look absolutely dapper at all times. When it gets cracked, toss it in the garbage and start anew. Nothing says “I don’t really care about my appearance” like the belt that’s seen you through the good and bad times on the scale. They get weathered, and need to be replaced.
11. Improve Your Posture
Poor posture is one of the highest-ranking turn-offs. You appear sullen, disinterested, less approachable, and frankly just depressed. It sends the signal that you’re too down in the dumps or don’t respect yourself enough, and that’s not the best primer for building conversation. You need to improve your posture, which is going to make those suits look far better on your shoulders, and make those smiles look dashing instead of forced.
Posture is body language, and the biggest indicator that poor posture sends is a lack of self-respect. You have to love yourself before you can love others, you need to respect yourself if you expect to be respected by other people. You can use hundreds of different tips to straighten your posture, but it’s about building habits. Even if you’re reading this thinking, “My posture is excellent,” take a good hard look anyway, because it might have room for improvement.
There’s an art to the right smile, but there’s no doubt that smiling more and more will make you seem far more attractive. You become approachable, your body language is positive, and there’s one fact: nobody looks out for the most depressed person in the room to spend time with. They want the life of the party, the guy who looks like he’s having the time of his life. Your smiling is positive, your positive outlook will attract others who think the same way.
Now, there’s an art to the sly, seductive smile that we’re going to share with you. If you were to meet eyes with a girl from across the room, you should hold it for a moment, and turn away. Turn back in thirty seconds, and if your eyes catch again, give a half-smile, showing a bit of teeth, and do it slowly. Close those lips, and if she returns that smile, it’s time to bid your wingmen ado and head on over to her table. You’ve just mastered the sexy smile.
13. Focus on Your Body Language
We’ve talked a lot about body language. You aren’t quizzed on your personality or put out before a panel of judges at a beauty contest. Your body language is the opener for anyone to approach you, and plays a great deal in whether or not someone is going to find you attractive. Closed-off body language tells someone that you aren’t approachable. You either don’t want to be spoken to, or you’re hiding something (not in the sexy mysterious way we talked about earlier).
You can promote positive, open body language by following a few simple do’s and don’ts. For one, never cross your arms. That’s the look a dad gives before he says, “Alright son, let’s hear it,” and you know you’re about to get schooled on your response. Don’t stare. Staring can be creepy, and tells someone to watch out for you, rather than look your way. Last but not least, if you’re going to approach someone, you need to do it properly. If you stare someone down from forty feet across the room, that’s weird and leaves this openness like you have some air in the middle of a conversation. Wait until you’re 4-6 seconds away to make eye contact. Look back to your buddies, look around the room while approaching them, and wait until you’re almost there to make eye contact.
14. Grow Out Some Facial Hair
Fashion and culture have shown us that beards are back, and they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. The consensus is that beards are sexy, and while some of you might be able to rock the full-on Viking mane, not all of us can. You can still get this sexy effect from growing out just a little bit of facial hair. Long beards (usually over 3”) work well on stocky, muscular dudes, and can add a bit of length to their face (in a good way) to make them appear taller.
Facial hair ages you. I’ve met plenty of guys who look like they’re seniors in high school when they’re actually pushing thirty. Nothing wrong with that, you dudes are going to look young while the rest of us wither away, but it has a physical lack of maturity. Growing out a short beard (think Sean Connery, or perhaps Keanu Reeves) can add another dimension to your appearance. Darker hair shows up easier, so if you’re growing out a blonde or red beard, you might need a bit of extra length to compensate for the lack of definition.
15. Eye Contact is Key
It’s absolutely astounding how many gentlemen don’t realize this one. Seriously, guys, keeping eye contact is one of the best ways to look more attractive. It shows that you’re confident, that you’re not afraid to go after what you want, and that you can listen. Nobody in this world wants to talk to a brick wall. Other people want to know that when they’re talking, they’re being listened to, and eye contact is one of the best ways to do that.
Just like everything on this list, it requires balance. We talked earlier about staring being an issue. Maintain eye contact without staring for too long, and know when to look away. Eye contact shows attentiveness, which is one of the critical elements people are looking for in a partner. You want to look attractive, but you want to garner the right type of attention. People are out there looking for relationships, something that lasts, so if you want to attract the right crowd, this step is crucial.
16. Be Kind to Everyone
Nobody likes a jackass. You need to be kind to everyone if you want that same attention. When you find out that someone you generally enjoy having around is a rude or mean person, it immediately changes your perspective. That’s doubly so when it comes to presenting yourself as the entree to the dating world. Men and women make follies in choosing their partners all the time. When you’re a downright rude guy, even if you’re in a relationship, it’s not going to last for long. When the years take away your six-pack and looks, your kindness is one of the few things left in the aftermath.
One of the worst things you can do is be rude to wait staff. We all have horrible customer service stories, and nobody wants to hear what that waitress at Applebee’s said to you, or when the cashier at your favorite cafe rolled their eyes. Sometimes you get sucky service, but this is where one of those age-old lessons that you dad taught you comes into play. Be the bigger man. Don’t be a jerk about it; you can request a new waiter or ask for the check and go someplace else. Be kind to everyone.
17. Get a Dog
Seriously guys, this one’s a secret weapon. We’re not saying you should get a dog for the sake of meeting ladies, but if you have one or you’ve always wanted one, it can’t hurt to jump on that. Taking care of a pup shows that you’re not afraid of commitment, you most likely lead a healthier, more active lifestyle, and you possess empathy for others. It also shows you’re more social (you know you have to walk that thing, right?) and get out of the house more often. Not only that, but who’s ever seen a cute dog and not immediately asked its hunky master to pet it?
18. Learn an Instrument
Guitar is sexy. Piano is sexy. Clarinette is… an instrument. Even though the latter wouldn’t be our choice of a lady magnet, playing a musical instrument actually makes you more attractive. Women have romanticized men holding guitars and playing sonnets for as long as time has gone on. It shows you’re creative, able to focus on a skill and master it, and above all else, that you’re good with your hands.
While it certainly shows a “sensitive side,” that’s not our main reason for adding it on this list. People have connected through music since forever, and depending on what type you’re playing (Beethoven versus Metallica on a guitar), you’ll catch the ear and eventually the eyes of the fairer sex. They’ll connect with you instantly through music; the perfect first impression if you ask us.
19. Find a Job You Enjoy
We’re in an era with no middle class. People are overworked, constantly stressed, and look like zombies. .Look back on this list: how are you going to have good posture when your body is wrecked from an 80-hour workweek? How are you going to smile when you’re miserable because you’re barely making ends meet? Ditch the crappy job and find something you enjoy, even if it isn’t bringing home as much bacon.
You are in control of your financial situation. Use a method like our good guy Dave Ramsey talks about, and trim down what you find necessary in your life. Your happiness is worth it, and your love life will certainly thank you. When you’re overworked and exhausted, when you’re putting your body through hell, do you know who’s looking? Gold diggers. A job you enjoy leads you into a life that you enjoy, and when you feel better you look better.
20. Get More Sleep
Last but not least, getting sleep is essential to your health, and keeps you alert and focused. If you’re not focused and following the conversation or showing proper interest, then attempting just about everything else we put on this list is going to end in miserable failure. Sleeping removes the effects of sleep deprivation (who would’ve thought, right?), and that keeps your confidence up, your adventurous spirit intact, and is an absolute staple in a healthy workout regimen. No sleep means your body isn’t repairing itself, and you won’t retain those abs.
Now Get Out There and Get Sexy
How many of these were you already doing, and how many new tricks did you discover? Be sure to share this with your wingman so he can properly represent you at your next outing, and check out our other guides for comprehensive coverage on everything you can do to up your man game.