Things To Avoid When Breaking Up
Break-ups are very rarely amicable. Emotions run high and with that, the situation can become very messy. Even the most rational person can become irrational and do things they normally wouldn’t even consider doing.
Accepting a relationship has come to its natural end takes a lot of soul searching from both parties and the goal should be to let it go and move on. Moving on is difficult, but also, necessary. To prevent things from escalating and ending the relationship with even a little bit of civility is possible when you know which thing to avoid when breaking up with someone.
Stop Playing The Blame Game
In every relationship, things go wrong and often one side is more to blame than the other. That doesn’t give you the green light to go on the attack. Blaming your ex and hitting below the belt will make things worse and you’ll most likely break-up anyway. Accept that it just wasn’t meant to be and let it go. Is this easy? No! But it will make the transition easier and you won’t need to run for cover when you see your ex unexpectedly.
By the same token, go easy on yourself. You may blame yourself for the break-up and try and think of every scenario you could have changed to save the relationship. Stop the self-hate and just let it go. Understanding that you can’t control everything or everyone around you gives you permission to take the next step and recover from your ordeal. Once you get past that stage, the rest will be a lot easier.
Keeping In Touch
Let’s be friends. Great in theory, but not always practical, particularly when you have just broken up with someone. Think of it as poking a sore tooth. Every time you touch the nerve, it hurts again. The same with a broken relationship. Frequent communication of any kind will only leave you feeling hurt after each encounter. Phone calls, coffee or simply hanging out together is just prolonging the inevitable. Sure, you may be hoping you’ll get back together, but it is far better to make a clean break and cut all communication. If your relationship was meant to be, you’ll find each other again. Otherwise, you are wasting precious time you could be spending on yourself so you can be ready for better things and relationships in the future.
Stalking Them On Social Media
When a relationship ends, you need a clean break. Checking your ex’s social media profiles to see how they are doing without you is extremely difficult not to do. In some ways, you may even be secretly hoping they’re life is meaningless without you, but what if it’s not? Stalking your ex on social media may make you feel worse so unfriend, unfollow and delete any photos of the two of you together. Think of it as amputating a rotting limb. If you keep it attached, it just keeps festering.
While you’re at it, make sure any joint or shared passwords are changed as well.
Don’t Procrastinate With Tying Loose Ends
Chances are you and your ex shared a home, bank accounts and possessions. As difficult as it may be to be in the same room as your ex, there are loose ends that need to be taken care of. If you shared a home, give back or take back spare keys, terminate the rental agreement or, if you bought a home together, decide what to do with the property. Take your possessions and give back those that aren’t yours. Do this as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you have a constant reason to see each other which won’t help either one of you.
Don’t Get Mean
No matter how painful your break-up may be, don’t get mean. You may be tempted to hold on to one of your ex’s treasured possessions or destroy clothes, photos and other things. Maybe you are thinking of the worst rumors you can spread about your ex so they will be hurting just as much as you are.
Do you really want to stoop to such lows? Be the better person and just let it go. Avoid making an already difficult situation so much harder and walk away. If your ex is being the difficult one, don’t take the bait. It’s also worth remembering that revenge may feel good at first, but that feeling won’t last. What’s worse, if you’re not careful, you could find yourself in trouble with the law.
Don’t Drown Your Sorrows
No break-up is easy and some may turn you into an emotional mess. The temptation to grab a bottle of vodka and drown your sorrows may be very real, but those feelings will still be there when you sober up, and you may end up with a nasty hangover to add to your pain.
That doesn’t mean you can’t go out for a drink with your friends to get over your ex. Just don’t get hammered.
Don’t Go Into Hibernation
It’s perfectly normal to not want to be around people when you break-up with someone and being alone for a few days may be beneficial to sort through the avalanche of feelings and emotions you are experiencing. Just don’t lock yourself up for too long. Go out with your friends, take up a sport or take a trip to some of the travel destinations for single men. The sooner you get out and about again, the sooner you will realize that life does go on and it will get easier.
Avoid A Rebound Relationship
Rejoining the world is important after a break-up, but put the brakes on jumping into the next relationship. You need to give yourself some time to sort through the remnants of your last relationship so you can start a new relationship with a clean slate. The last thing your new special someone needs is a fresh reminder of your last relationship. Jump in too soon and you could find yourself dealing with another break-up.